By: Nicole Sanchez, Contributing Writer
Thanksgiving was first celebrated as a holiday in order to give thanks to God for the harvest. Today, it’s a time to get together with the people we love and be grateful for what truly matters.
Things don’t always go the way we anticipate, and even a holiday like Thanksgiving can be flipped upside down due to arguments and debates on controversial topics like politics, religion, and personal identity. Here are a few tips on how to defuse conflict and still have meaningful conversations when planning to get together with family and friends this holiday season.
Breaking the Ice. Before having those meaningful conversations lighten the mood and entertain the whole family with icebreakers. This can be especially helpful when some of the people at the dinner table are meeting each other for the first time. Thanksgiving isn’t only celebrated with blood-related family, so it’s important to make everyone feel acquainted and familiar with one another. Icebreakers can help conversations flow a lot easier when everyone is interested in getting to know each other.
Asking open-ended questions. Most of the time asking open-ended questions that everyone at the table can engage in is the best way to start a meaningful discussion with your loved ones. Rather than asking dry questions like, “How was your day?” or “How’s work going?” try conversation starters like, “What’s your favorite family memory?” or “What was your favorite holiday tradition when you were growing up?” This simple technique can add to the conversation at the dinner table.
To make sure that everyone is contributing, a fun idea is to fill a bowl with questions and have each guest randomly pick one to read to the group. One person can read a question and answer it, or everyone can give their answers. Either way, this is a great technique to keep everyone engaged together at the table.
Showing your gratitude. Expressing how much your family means to you should happen year-round, but Thanksgiving is a great time to let your loved ones know just how lucky you are to have them. Sharing something that you admire about another person at the table is a great way to invite others to join in and share what else they are grateful for this year. 2020 has been something else for all of us and showing gratitude for family and friends is just one way to uplift everyone’s spirits and engage in a meaningful conversation during Thanksgiving dinner.
Staying casual. Even though a meaningful discussion involves intentionally asking questions and purposely making conversation, always avoid making someone else feel like they are being interviewed. The best way to do this is to stay casual. Being open, staying engaged, and making small talk will ensure family and friends at the table do not feel uncomfortable or feel like they are being interrogated.
Sharing your recipes. Sometimes it’s easier to shift the conversation towards the food rather than focusing it on the people at the table. If other members of the family made dishes for the feast, ask them to share the recipe or talk about what it took to make the dish. If they make the same thing every year, like a lot of people do, ask if they’ve changed the recipe over time or what they love about their meal. Food is just one of the many things that can bring people together and really get the ball rolling when you’re talking around the table on Thanksgiving.
Some people might dread Thanksgiving because there’s always the chance of a quarrel between loved ones. It is always 6important to take a stance on global issues; but kindness is always more important, especially during the holidays when we are supposed to be enjoying the company of family and friends. In some situations, it’s easier to avoid heavy topics to have those meaningful conversations that will create memories to last a lifetime.
It may be cliche, but I hope this Thanksgiving is filled with family, good food, and meaningful conversations.
