Saint Leo University Mourns Another Loss: Desk of Whimsy
Saint Leo University is reeling today after a huge loss amongst the student body. Steven iPhone, 2, was found dead in a student’s residence this morning after a long night of partying and celebrating the end of a long week of classes. Initially, foul play was not suspected. However, new evidence has been uncovered. Senior Edward Oliva, a witness to the crime, said that the phone’s guardian, Sophomore Dakota Rios, “left the phone in her bedroom all night while she was playing Scene It with her friends. She means well, but it seems like neglect to me.” Others participating in the party could not be reached for comment as of the printing of this issue.