By Annie Hays, Staff Writer
“College is 90 percent fun and 10 percent B.S, but the 10 percent B.S. can eat up 100 percent of your time if you let it.” said speaker Harlan Cohen.
Cohen is the author of The Naked Roommate, a book on how to survive college. On September 16th, he gave a speech at Saint Leo University to tell students about college life and dating.
Cohen began the discussion on college life by explaining his own college experience. He started off his first day in college with his “stoner” roommate offering him a joint.
Cohen did not know what to do, so he said “No thanks I’m full.”
Things went downhill for Cohen from there when his roommate moved out two weeks later, and he found himself rushing a fraternity to make friends. All of his friends got bids, but he did not.
“At that point, I had negative 10 friends, but at least I still had one thing going for me: I had a smokin’ hot girlfriend.” said Cohen.
But very soon Cohen did not even have that, because his girlfriend’s father convinced her to break up with him, or as her father put it, she had to “shoot the puppy.”
Cohen was so devastated that he had to transfer schools. But he soon found that all the problems he faced at his first college followed him to the new one.
Cohen then began to explain the attitude he should have had at the time and the principals he discovered for dealing with college.
“Freshmen have to learn the Three P’s: Patience, People, and Places.” said Cohen.
“Freshman year is like being in a snow globe, but instead of snow swirling around you it’s s—.”
Freshmen need to learn Patience to deal with this hypothetical snow globe. Cohen said it takes about one year for things to get better and for people to find their place at their university.
For People, Cohen said that everyone needs at least three groups of friends, or at least 10 total.
“That way if one group of friends decides to do things you don’t want to do, you don’t feel pressured to fit in with them.”
In order to find these groups of friends, students must go to Places where there are People. These include the cafeteria, common areas, club meetings, Greek life, and more.
Cohen then moved on to the subject of dating.
He asked the audience if there was anyone there who was having dating problems.
When one girl raised her hand he told her “Do you know that there are hundreds of men out there who love you and want to be with and will treat you well?”
The girl said no, so Cohen continued saying “If we could line up 10 of those guys right now, and one of them was treating you badly, would you stay with him?”
This is the principle behind Cohen’s Universal Rejection Truth.
“Millions of people will not like you, but thousands will. There is someone out there for everyone.”
But in order for this principle to work in one’s life, he /she has to give people permission not to like him/her.
“It was hard for me to learn this principle…I don’t like people who don’t like me. I hate them, and I draw a hate circle around them and all their friends.” said Cohen.
Besides giving his scheduled speech, Cohen also took several questions, some anonymous, from the audience. They included:
“My roommate comes in at 2 a.m. and wakes me up almost every night, but then I wake her up at 6:30 a.m. because I have to get up early. I think me getting up for classes is more important, but she holds that against me.”
Also: “My roommate keeps “twerking” until 3 a.m. most nights. What do I do?”
Cohen gave similar responses to those questions. He explained that roommates need to sit down, talk things out, and that these all boiled down to respect. These were examples of how roommates who want to get along will find a way to get along, so in order to do that they must compromise and respect each other’s needs.
However, the “twerking” until 3 a.m. is a respect issue and needs to stop.
Cohen ended the night by performing his original song “My Roommate Stu,” which is about a Freshman who discovers his new roommate Stu is a nudist, but eventually the two become friends.
Before Cohen preformed “My Roommate Stu,” he had a challenge for all the Freshmen in the room.
“I challenge you all to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Enjoy your Freshman thongs and wear them proudly. This year will fly by, so enjoy it.”
All students’ time at Saint Leo University will fly by, but if they allow issues with roommates and relationships to bring them down these four years will not be all they could be.
