Fifty Shades of Snooze

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People often say “smart is sexy.” Many also cite a sense of humor as an attractive quality. These claims have not yet been proven true, but if they are, that explains why “Fifty Shades Freed” is as enticing as watching a dog wag its tail. Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) are back in the final film, released Feb. 9. Adapted from E.L. James’ trilogy,  the film series is constantly revolving around a hot male who meets a timid female and falls in love. The two can’t keep their hands off each other, which should be enticing to the body and mind if nothing else.

“Fifty Shades Freed” opens with the marriage ceremony of Christian and Anastasia. The film, however, despite receiving a low audience rating of eleven percent on rotten tomatoes, still managed to rack up $38.8 million in sales from the box office. Perhaps the problem is once the film reveals the marriage and the erotic scenes, everything else drifts and lacks structure; hence, viewers may not be intrigued.

The truth of the matter is if BDSM were removed from this film it would become a thriller. The flick goes from Christian buying a house to Ana and her friends going shopping for dresses and from Christian driving a jet ski to Ana driving a car. Then, the action arises when a bomb explodes in one of the Grey Enterprises warehouses, and Ana realizes she is being stalked by her psychotic ex-boss Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson.) There is no cohesion, no fluidity, and no personality in the plot of this film. “Fifty Shades Freed” is what every “Fifty Shades” fan would hope would put the icing on the cake despite “Fifty Shades Darker” not living up to the expectations of the fans. However, director James Foley let the fans down one last time. Regardless of the film feeling dragged along and fans being disappointed, it is undeniable that the film only came alive, barely, at the sex scenes, which were still bland.

The film also had some funny or rather idiotic moments when one would say “Are you serious?” At the beginning of the film, Christian wants to get away from the wedding with Ana, so they leave to go to the airport, and she is going to ask if he owns the plane. Hello? The previous movies entailed him bringing her up in helicopters and gliders as well as sailboats. So why is she surprised he has a jet? Ana clearly forgot what happened in the previous films as do many of the film-watchers. On another note, undoubtedly, despite the poor plot and the “okay” screen chemistry, the soundtrack was the one good thing that came out of this film. The soundtrack is listed as number six on the iTunes Album Top Chart and features various artists. The music was the one thing the audience could connect to, and it was the only source of emotion.

The “Fifty Shades” Trilogy should not have been made into a movie. Viewers should not have encountered “Fifty Shades Darker,” and now “Fifty Shades Freed,” which has left a bad taste in the viewer’s mouth. Sad to say the first was not even enticing or exciting and now this. The books were well-received and anticipated; however, it was a disappointment when it was filmed. The repetition of sex scenes and Christian not being into the BDSM scenes in “Fifty Shades of Grey” resulted in the film losing its substance..

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The Lions' Pride is a student-run news organization dedicated to sharing the voice of our Saint Leo community. Our mission is to uphold the Benedictine values, support First Amendment rights, and provide informative and thought-provoking journalism without fear of interference or reprisal.

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